i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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