im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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