White coat. Heels.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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