All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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