I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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