Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
