Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
