Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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