hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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