we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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