He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
