Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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