he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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