Your tits are I can't wait for
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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