is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
