All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I have feelings that need drinking.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
