Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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