What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
