Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
