I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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