We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
