So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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