Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
