Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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