she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
