did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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