She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
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Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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