He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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