guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
