We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
