More tranny stories later!
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
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