Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
