I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
is that a dick in a sweater?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
