Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
