Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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