I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
