GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
