A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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