Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
