Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think people are normalizing furries
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
