Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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