well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
