hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize