He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
