Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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