Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Less talking, more tequila
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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