so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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