Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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