Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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