Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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