Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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