You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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