hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
