you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
