Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..

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  (480): I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box.. http://tfl.nu/ei9f
  Replies (32) Good night (1970) Bad night (4974)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you

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  (817): Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/97p3
  Replies (16) Good night (1028) Bad night (4084)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk

  (1-914): View more from New York

  It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you

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  (914): Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk (1-914): It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you http://tfl.nu/bgwq
  Replies (55) Good night (8607) Bad night (802)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.

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  (304): Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling. http://tfl.nu/ly52
  Replies (26) Good night (5511) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston, we have a problem

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  where are u?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

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  (617): Houston, we have a problem (781): where are u? (617): Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here. http://tfl.nu/zyw6
  Replies (44) Good night (15124) Bad night (1390)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.

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  (715): Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester. http://tfl.nu/dlm3
  Replies (19) Good night (1182) Bad night (4114)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.

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  (803): For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early. http://tfl.nu/j6ta
  Replies (3) Good night (1313) Bad night (1798)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.

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  (248): Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages. http://tfl.nu/po3d
  Replies (12) Good night (3275) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.

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  (610): I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out. http://tfl.nu/jm8j
  Replies (12) Good night (3585) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?

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  (410): So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right? http://tfl.nu/zwo3
  Replies (15) Good night (2829) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.

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  (276): You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat. http://tfl.nu/s2nm
  Replies (6) Good night (2231) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke

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  (314): It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke http://tfl.nu/h2tw
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.

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  (501): When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis. http://tfl.nu/n1sn
  Replies (5) Good night (822) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan

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  (770): You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan http://tfl.nu/kbvj
  Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.

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  (315): not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears. http://tfl.nu/mw0m
  Replies (10) Good night (954) Bad night (218)

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