My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.