Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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