Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We had to coat check the pizza.
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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