Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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